IMPORTANT

Ganito Ka Rin Ba Mag-English?

(To whoever gets to understand this letter, CONGRATULATIONS!)

The following is a letter found at a certain bar in Manila and have been preserved to its original unedited form. Enjoy reading and you may try to direct translation is Tagalog, Pls. read with feelings……

October 1996,

To Marjorie

I am not surprise or wonder why Dennis leave you why? What reason can you think about but you’re very fat body. I thought before that Dennis only use me to his toy but sooner and later I’m realize that he really can’t not beared or stomached to be with you anymore because at first, Dennis say he could not stand you’re habit of making pakialam all his walks (lakad) and always calling to their house what he got home or this or that.

And then he say he get ashame to me either in school or in his family and then asking you to exercise you’re very very, very fat body. But you hate it. Thought you’re the most preetiest girls he knows about. What do you think you are “ Beautiful Girl” of Jose Mari Chan?
Even you are beautiful face ( to your think) you do not have the right to called me whatsoever or else difference name one time or the other for the real purposed to insults my personality because I’m never call you names either in the front of Dennis or in the backs of Dennis, but if you start already to calling me different name, I don’t have any other choice but to call you other different name to. Like you are a PIG, FAT, OBESSED, OVERWIGHT, AND UGLY SHAPE girl. Shame to you’re body that is to a BUDING.
You can’t not blame Dennis for exchanging you to me because I am the more sexier that you when you look to us in the mirror. I’m repeat again that you are like Lozada when she is a girl.
Love,
The sexiest Girl of D.M.
P.S.
You say that I’m the bad breathe but who is Dennis want to kissed. Me or you? And the final is me. There you go

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   I find this write-up ridiculously humorous! It is in a state of total mess! The first time I read this letter, I understood nothing. I needed to read it twice before it actually made sense. Hands down to the writer for making this letter an eye opener for me. It made me see the importance of learning language correctly. 

   I almost gave up correcting this especially in the second paragraph of the letter. That's where I had a really hard time fixing it. I also found it funny that the writer made use of Tagalog words in some parts which is really inappropriate.

I tried my best to understand what the writer wants to express and here is the result.

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October 1996

To Marjorie,

     I am not surprised or even wondered why Dennis left you, why? There is no other reason I can think of but you’re very fat body. I thought that Dennis only used me as his toy before but I realized that he really cannot bear to be with you anymore because at first, Dennis said he could not stand you’re habit of interrupting all his engagements and for always calling to their house what he gets home.

He said he got ashamed of you both in school and in his family. He asked you to exercise but you hate it. You think that you’re the prettiest girl he knows? Do you think you are the “Beautiful Girl” of Jose Mari Chan?

     Even if you have a beautiful face (just like what you think) you do not have the right to call me different names for you to insult my personality because I never called you different names in front or at the back of Dennis, but if you already started calling me different names, I don’t have any choice but to call you different names too like PIG, FAT, OBESE, OVERWEIGHT, AND UGLY SHAPED girl. Shame to your fat body.

     You cannot blame Dennis for choosing me instead of you because I am sexier than you even if we face the mirror. I repeat that you are like Lozada when she is a girl.

Love, The sexiest Girl of D.M.

P.S.
You say that I have bad breath but who does Dennis want to kiss? You or me? Of course, the answer is me. There you go