SOLID PRESSURE

    "Solid pressure is the force per unit area that a solid exerts to the environment and to itself. Under solid pressure are

Stress and Strain."

     My overall experience as a junior is almost unbearable. Almost. I can almost conclude that my third year in CavSci is Solid Pressure.

     For the first two years of my stay as a CavScian, English classes have been very plain and simple. No thrill. Reading stories, discussions, role playing, presentations- very typical. Then, I heard of the third year English class and my junior friend told me that English in the third year level is very fun and exciting. I tried to believe it until I became a junior. To be honest, I expected a lot from our English class. Who would've thought that my expectations are less than what our English class in third year really is?

     This year, I realized that English is not just a subject. I don;t know the right words to describe it but I know that it is more than a school subject.

     I have experienced new things thanks to Ma'am May! We did several performances like serious role plays ( I say this because our role plays before are NOT taken seriously.), jazz chant, oration, and the most memorable of them all, the speech choir. Through these performances, I have learned how to lead properly and listen to everyone's opinion. 

     Why do I say that the speech choir is the memorable of them all? It is because this is the last and the hardest thing to do! Everyone of us had ideas but some didn't share theirs. When ideas are rejected, they tend to be not-so-good-followers when other ideas are taken. I don't know but it does seems so unfair. Nevertheless, these experiences are stories where lessons can always be read again and again. 

     English has also been an outlet of my thoughts when I write my formal theme compositions and my blogs. Well, I'll be honest, some of the things I say in my compositions aren't always true but I try my best to be honest. I actually hate outlets of my thoughts but it'll be unfair for my teacher because she needs to read honest compositions. It's a stress for me to say things that I want to keep for myself but for great teachers, I'm going honest!

     Several questions bothered me as we discuss in our English class. Some of these are

Are you afraid of making mistakes? I am not afraid of making mistakes. i am afraid that I'll be judged by people around me. ( proof of honesty :) )

What is love? How can I even define what love is when it is the most unexplainable thing in this world?

Who do you consider your hero? Who wouldn't say parents?

What are your regrets? Letting go of things worthy of parts of me.

Who are you willing to give up in your room? None. 

and the question that struck me most

What makes you special? Am I even special?

     This is what you call IMPACT. English class with Ma'am May created a big impact on me. English is stressful, yes, but it's worth the stress.

     Stress and strain pushes an object to its limits. After stress and strain, the object may be back to its original form but sometimes it changes. As for this class, I am an object changed for the better. 

I'M SORRY

B5, L29, Springfield View Subdivision

Sahod Ulan, Tanza, Cavite

February 06, 2014

Dearest Kuya Miggy,

     Hi! It's been a long time since we actually "talked". It's odd that I communicate with you through this letter when you're just one call and one pm away. (Please bear with me, I'm not good in words.)

     First of all, I want to say sorry for being so childish to you. I don't know but it just feels right to be such a baby when I'm with you and Ate Jestine. Please understand that I don't have a brother to share my thoughts.Please understand that I don't have a brother who will protect and comfort when I need to be. I'm sorry for being so dramatic when I tell my stories to you. I'm sorry for the repeated dramas of my life. I know that you are sick and tired of my stories but still, you are there cheering me up. Most of all, I'm sorry for not being able to give back the things you give me. I'm sorry for being an addition to the people who need to care for. It's a stress, I know.

     After the sorry, let's go to the thank you!

     Kuya Miggy, thank you for being my brother. Thank you for understanding me in every way that you can even though you have your own troubleS. Thank you for the friendship. Thank you for the love. Thank you for the motivation. Thank you for the advices. Thank you for listening. Thank you for just being there by my side in times of triumph and trouble.

     I want you to know that I feel so lucky that you are my friend. I don't know if you consider me your friend but I will always be here for you. Don't mind "them". Be real.

Much love,

Thea

P.S.

1 year. More to go.

 I need to prepare for the wedding I WILL organize. ;)

REFLECTION

     Are you special?

     To be honest, I don't know.

     If this was asked to me in a very casual way I would probably answer "because I'm beautiful, sexy and hot like my Inay Bianca" but that's not the case.

     When I was asked this during our English class, I stopped and stared at the naught. I asked myself "Am I Even Special?" Out of rush, I just answered my love for my friends which I think is really not so special because many other people can be a better friend than me. They can even risk their lives for their friends which I am doubtful If I could.

     They always say that being special is about being yourself but what if you are somebody else.What if you like All Time Low like the others? That's not special. What if you like theater acts like the others? That's not special. What if? What if I am NOT special???

     However, the Bible says that we are fearfully and wonderfully made which assures me that even though I cannot find the special in me, there is. There is something special in me I cannot see.

     When will my reflection show? Who I am inside...

PLEASE

Dear God,

First of all, my Creator, thank you for such a blessed life. Thank you Lord for the life you lent me to be valuable in this world. I know that you have plans to prosper me and my family, not to harm us, bring us hope and a future. Thank you Lord for the promises that you have granted and you are continuing to grant.

I thank You Lord God for my hardworking parents. For my father’s intelligence and ability that keeps up provided, thank you Lord. For my mother’s good managing and budgeting skills that keeps us sustained, thank you Lord. For these two people who never gave up on the trials that came our way, thank you Lord.

I am not the daughter anyone would like. I am a terrible one, honestly. But my parents did not give up on me until I become a better person. These two persons who never got out of my sight, just right behind me, silently teaching me lessons I need to know. I thank you Lord for them.

Lord God, I raise my parents to you. Thank You for their lives. Thank you for they became channels of blessing to me and many other people. Thank you for the strength and wisdom you give them every day. Words are not enough to thank you for the many wondrous you have done to my parents.

Lord, I pray, grant them the deepest desires of their heart. Whatever it is that they want in life, as long as it is according to Your will, grant them, Lord. Grant them good health and long life so that they will continue to be your instruments in your ministry.

My father is a very hardworking father, Lord. He provides everything for us from our needs to our wants. He has sacrificed a lot for us including being far away from us to work. I know that he stays abroad to give us the best future he can give us. Lord, he does the best for us so he deserves only the best. I believe that worldly things aren’t that important in our life but I know in my heart that if I will have a chance to choose a gift for him, he would surely want a new car. Yes, it might be very expensive but he deserves it after all.

Aside from a car, Lord God, my father deserves to see whatever and whoever he wants to see. Let him enjoy fatherhood while he is able to. It’s sad to know that ME is not enough. I know. He needs us and it means three.

Very patient, hardworking, and loving, that is my mother. Lord God, I pray that you grant her strength to win her battles. Grant her peace of mind and sound heart. She deserves a break from all the stress she has gone and is going through. Lord God, grant her the acceptance of the important people around her. My mother deserves to be loved. If there is a material thing that she deserves the most is a full set of quality bags. She deserves it after all.

Aside from the bags, Lord God, my mother deserves to be healed completely even from minor sicknesses. She deserves to enjoy life healthy and for her to continue serving your ministry.

Lord, my family is the best gift you have given to me and I still ponder if I deserve this. I feel very lucky that I have parents like mine who are ready to support me in whatever path I take. I could never ask for more.

Once again, Lord God, thank you for your ultimate blessing to me-my parents. Giving me such wonderful parents is a privilege I am so grateful for.

Lord God, grant them their heart’s deepest and greatest desires. Give them strength to face all the challenges that will come their way. Thank you Lord.

Your Loving Child,

                                                                                                            Thea

LOUD SILENCE

            It’s Saturday and as usual, I open my laptop and redirect my browser to YouTube. What’s new?

I type the letters without hitches “Lea Salonga” and for the hundredth time, I watched her audition for Miss Saigon.

You are sunlight and high moon, joined by the gods of fortune…” I sing as Lea sings this line. I don’t sing further because I know that my voice will just ruin the song. I let Lea sing the other parts because I know she does it best.

Whenever I hear Lea Salonga sing on TV or in the videos I watch, I always tell myself that I can be as good as her or even better; but that’s only in my mind. I never tried singing the way she sings that’s why I never knew if I could be like her. Besides, Lea Salonga is a legend! Being as good as her is too good to be true.

As I reflect on these thoughts in my mind, I ask myself “What if I can sing her songs? What if I could actually be like her if only I tried?” As soon as the words “What if” came out of my mind, I realized I’m passing through my regrets again.

There are things in our life that we did and did not do. These actions led to what and who we are today, the today that we’ve never hoped for.

For many people, regrets are things they did that led them to today. As for me, my regrets are things that I did not do that led me to my today.

I admit, I can sing. If I have something to be proud of, that is, I can sing. The problem is I don’t. I don’t sing and instead of showing my talent, I hide it.

Whenever I see other people show what they've got, it shatters me to pieces. I never had the courage to do so and it pains me that I know i have the talent but i don't know how to show it.

To be honest, I’m starting to hate myself for doing so. I realized that my talent is the outlet of my expression and since I did not show it before, I have no way showing it now.

I regret not trying to hit those notes because I don’t believe that I can actually hit them. I regret not trying to sing to the beat of the sound and express myself from my heart to my throat. I regret letting the opportunity of showing what I’ve got pass. I regret not taking risks on stepping on a stage and be heard by many. I regret not having enough strength to

Right now, I don’t want these regrets to put me down and stop me from showing my talent. All I need to know is HOW. How will I turn these regrets to realized dreams? How will I change this loud silence? 

ALARM CLOCK

2000 years ago He said "It is finished." Finished.


"Finished? What is finished?" I asked.

"Yes, my dear. It is finished," He said.

I was grateful and happy to see Him beside me. Jesus was beside me. I bowed down and sat near his feet.

"What is finished, Jesus?" I asked.

"You know, the world is covered in sins. My Father doesn't want sins. And so, I went here to save the world. To mark an end to sins," He answered.

I was in awe after He answered. He ended sins.

"Why did you end sins, Jesus? Is it necessary?" I asked once more.

"Yes. It is necessary. As I said, the world is a disaster. My Father hates sins. It is barrier for mankind and Him. I was sent by the Father to share the Word and eventually save mankind," He patiently answered

"How did you save us?" I said.

"I died for you," He said.

I cried.

"You did?" I said.

"Yes, I did. I love you, The Father loves you. We love you enough that I was crucified. Through my wounds you are healed. Through my blood you are saved. Through the cross you will have eternal life. These are the benefits of the cross , my dear. You will experience them if you believe that I am your Savior," He gladly explained.

"Thank you Jesus for coming here. For saving us. I hope that you still love us even though you died for us, even though we are the reason why you died. I know not all of us love you but I hope you love us. Still," I humbly said.

"I love you all so much, Thea. I love everyone but not everyone loves me back," He said.

"I'm so sorry Jesus. But if ever, will you come back?" I asked.

"Oh, definitely! I will be back to bring my faithful servants to heaven and to judge all of you. I will judge you fairly and that will tell you whether you are going with me or you'll suffer down there in Hell," He said.

"May I go with you? Now?" I asked

"Now? No, my dear. It's not yet your time to go with me," He answered.

I was sad. I knew I would be happy if He will take me with him now.

"Don't be sad. May I ask you a favor?" He said.

"No problem. How can I say No to You?" I replied.

"Share my Word to the people alright? Share this encounter to them. Make sure they accept me as their Lord and Savior so they will come with me up there. Don't forget okay?" He whispered.

"That's for sure. I hope to see you soon Jesus!" I whispered back.

A bright light made its way to my eyes and blinded for seconds.

I woke up at the sound of the alarm clock. I caught myself smiling.

"Thank you Lord," I whispered.

Meeting your Savior is an opportunity. Don't miss it! Accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior to meet Him and tell Him how grateful you are. Come!

~ + ~

Q for M

We are all sinners. That's our nature. That's human nature.

Q is deeply in love with Margo Roth Spiegelman. Margo. Margo. Margo. She is all that he sees everyday. Even in school, he never tires on stalking her, from gate to the classroom.

Q is very observant. He sees what other people don't see or observe. He really has a nice sense of sight, especially when it comes to Margo. He notices every detail of her.

As usual, Q starts stalking Margo at the front gate of the school. He never misses any detail.
It's already 6:45 and Q is still there waiting for Margo. Margo is late! Q didn't mind waiting for Margo until she gets to school even if it takes him an hour waiting.Because of this instance, Q was not able to clean his part in front of the Administration building! What a way to start Q's day!

It's Math class now. Q is still thinking on how Margo is dressed up today. He just can't help but think of Margo. "Pass your homeworks," teacher said. Q was shocked. He was not able to make his homework! Why? He kept thinking of Margo. He crammed and copied the answers of Ben fastly.

It's finally break time and Q is having a bad day, From the start of the day, things got on his nerves. It was time for Q to pay for his food in the canteen.. He gave 100Php when he was supposed to pay 140Php. He knew he paid less. He ran away and did not dare pay for his balance.

Q is holding a piece of plastic from his food. He was talking to Ben while staring at Margo. He threw the plastic away, He just threw the plastic at the side! Is this the Margo effect?

Q is now in the classroom. It's his Chemistry class now. They have an examination today. Q was not able to review his lessons! While all the others are answering, Q subtly looked at Ben's paper who is more than willing to let Q copy his answers. They survived the Chemistry class like that.

After Chemistry class is their free time. Q brought his iPod for music. Q was not allowed to bring gadgets! Still, he brought them and utilised them until free time was over.

It's flag retreat in the afternoon. Everyone's uniform is checked. Q didn't notice that he wore no ID! This is a violation worth several squats. Q doesn't like squats. But still he did squat.

He murmured,"Curse whoever made me squat."

Q for Quentin. H for Hell.