GOOD or BETTER

     To be left by a person you cherish the most would probably be the most tragic thing you’ll ever experience in your life. In my case, it was me who left him.

How can you say NO to your parents’ request?

     I was in 2^nd grade when I first knew of Cavite National Science High School. My father told me that it will be good for me to study there rather than anywhere else because he said that I would be successful after all. Preoccupied by the thought of being a successful man someday, I embedded a decision that I will study there.

     Since I was in preschool until elementary I studied in just one school. I never experienced transferring schools and so I have a permanent set of friends. I have built great relationships with my schoolmates there, relationships that are dismal to give up.

Something made my situation more difficult. I was influenced by my friend, Aidenmee, to take the entrance examination in Manila Science High School. It was an exciting but perplexing event in my life. The entrance examination was extremely difficult.

     A new school. It was vague to me. I thought that I was in a cage of happiness where I can stay forever. I thought that it is where guaranteed love is. The kind of love that is incomparable.Love that will stay the same whether or not together. Something permanent. But that’s not life nor love. To be able to define life, one must explore and get out the cage he is in. Alongside, leaving cherished people. The inevitable thing in life is change. For change is the only permanent thing in this world.  This was the case for me. My parent’s wanted me to get out of my blissful cage and reconnoitre the vast possibilities outside it, without distractions.

     I was not ready for the letting go part of the scene. The cage door was opened. Right there and then, I realized that my parents are not the ones who will let me go of the cage I am in. It was me. The door was opened and it was up to me if I will step out and let go of myself. I was not ready to let go of the people I have loved over the years.

     The scars of a still wounded heart pricked mine. I saw the tragedy that will take place if I will leave the cage I was in. It was depressing yet I knew that I was not the cure to the wounded heart. 

     Months have passed. To be or not to be.  It’s a matter of the Good or the Better. I was so sure that my future will be good if I stay, but how will I know if it will be better if I won’t stay?

     After months of desperate thinking, I have come up to a decision that changed my life. I decided to transfer school. That was a really tough decision to make since a finger was wrapped around mine. A finger I did not want to loosen from mine.

     I was so decided to go to Cavite Science after all, but a news came and made my decision tentative. I passed Manila Science. I was filled with joy when I knew that but the joy that masked my heart slowly drifted away. Going to Manila Science is a rare opportunity for anyone. Out of the 3,000 students who fervently prayed for the opportunity, I belonged to the 200 lucky students who passed the examination. 

Should I consider myself lucky if I’ll have to leave people I have loved as far as my existence is concerned?

Tough. Very tough. In this situation, I have felt the obligation to choose between my former and my present school. Old friends to uncertain people I don't even know if there will be friendship.The paranoia of being unable to defeat the lovesick to the people I used to be with was the hardest part of the whole ordeal. Well, I thought it was nightmare, but if I did not make that decision, I must be living my life with the fullest regrets.

     To cut the long story short, here I am, a CavScian. Since the day I stepped on the CavScian grounds, I have not regretted my decision. Although I miss people from my former school, I take pride of the decision I have made. Spending almost three years in CavSci is worthwhile and fruitful.

Dear readers, we have decisions to make. They are part of our lives. Making them might get tough at times but we can manage. These decisions just orbit the phrase “To be or not to be.” Or simply “Now or Never.” Always remember that with the choices that we make, there is a 100% possibility that changes will occur. Changes that may lead to the better or the worse, but it’s up to us how we want everything to sum up to, whether for the better or worse. Fingers wrapped around another may cause hindrances, but they will just prove the strength of your decisions. To be or not to be.