It’s Saturday and as usual, I open my laptop and redirect
my browser to YouTube. What’s new?
I type the letters without hitches “Lea Salonga” and for the
hundredth time, I watched her audition for Miss Saigon.
You are sunlight
and high moon, joined by the gods of fortune…” I sing as Lea sings this line. I don’t sing further
because I know that my voice will just ruin the song. I let Lea sing the other
parts because I know she does it best.
Whenever I hear Lea Salonga sing on TV or in the videos I
watch, I always tell myself that I can be as good as her or even better; but
that’s only in my mind. I never tried singing the way she sings that’s why I
never knew if I could be like her. Besides, Lea Salonga is a legend! Being as
good as her is too good to be true.
As I reflect on these thoughts in my mind, I ask myself “What
if I can sing her songs? What if I could actually be like her if only I tried?”
As soon as the words “What if” came out of my mind, I realized I’m passing
through my regrets again.
There are things in our life that
we did and did not do. These actions led to what and who we are today, the
today that we’ve never hoped for.
For many people, regrets are things
they did that led them to today. As for me, my regrets are things that I did
not do that led me to my today.
I admit, I can sing. If I have
something to be proud of, that is, I can sing. The problem is I don’t. I don’t
sing and instead of showing my talent, I hide it.
Whenever I see other people show what they've got, it shatters me to pieces. I never had the courage to do so and it pains me that I know i have the talent but i don't know how to show it.
To be honest, I’m starting to hate
myself for doing so. I realized that my talent is the outlet of my expression
and since I did not show it before, I have no way showing it now.
I regret not trying to hit those notes because I
don’t believe that I can actually hit them. I regret not trying to sing to the
beat of the sound and express myself from my heart to my throat. I regret
letting the opportunity of showing what I’ve got pass. I regret not taking
risks on stepping on a stage and be heard by many. I regret not having enough strength to
Right now, I don’t want these regrets to put me down and stop
me from showing my talent. All I need to know is HOW. How will I turn these
regrets to realized dreams? How will I change this loud silence?
